38 and disappointed...maybe

Tomorrow marks by 38th year of being alive. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand I feel that I am much wiser than I was at 21, on the other I feel like I have accomplished nothing. Some would look at my life and tell me that is not true. I know that in some parts of my life that is right, but in others I don't feel it. I really need to find a way to stop talking/thinking about all of the things I would like to do or should do and just do them. I have so many times written diary entries where I am going to start, and sometimes I do, but then I just last a few days or weeks. One of my friends at work had to go meet with our main boss. His favorite question to ask people is "who are you?" My friend told me I should answer that about myself. I try, and really it's hard because who I am is not who I wanted to be or even feel I should be. I always thought at this age that I would be a wife and mother. I think for most women my age that's what you are born to believe. I don't really have a problem being wife and mother most days. My problem is that I don't feel like Me. I don't feel like I have a life outside of that. Is that the way life is supposed to be? I have another friend who just pretty much lives how she wants. She doesn't really get too angry about things and for the most part takes life as it comes. I kind of wish I could live life that way. I think I worry too much about things. One of my favorite movies is "Under the Tuscan Sun" There is a character in there that pretty much takes life as it comes. If she wants ice cream she has ice cream and doesn't look back or feel guilty. I wish I could be like that. Hell, I wish I had the courage of the main character and could just leave everything behind and buy a villa in Italy! I really do wonder how many other women feel the same? Is it just something you do when you get to a certain point in your life? I do know that I want to do something to change it for me. I want to find a way to pull it from deep inside of myself. I know I have it, but I haven't found the one thing that would really inspire me to do it.