Back with a vent...

Hello Friends in blogger land. I'm sorry I've been so MIA. It's been a busy past couple of months. Unfortunately nothing exciting, just life. One good thing is that I will be getting off of the rock for a week very soon. I can't wait to go shop at stores we don't have and eat at restaurants we don't have! I hope to write a few times before I leave and then let you know how it all went when I get back.

So, even though I'm back I have a negative thing. I have something I want to post. Really I want to send it to stepson and stepdaughter's mom, but I really do try to be nice and do the right thing so I won't. Instead, to help me get it out of my system I'm going to post it here. Keep in mind that there is such a history there (10 years worth) that there is just too much to post, but this "letter" made me feel a little bit better. Thanks for letting me have the online therapy.

-Chula

Dear You,

Your son, A, told me you called yesterday and asked for our address. I’m confused about why you don’t have it. Your daughter, Z, moved here with us 5 years ago, and A moved here 2 years ago. We have lived at that same address the entire time. If you would have sent the kids Christmas or Birthday presents or cards at least once during that time you would have had to use the address. Since you didn’t I guess maybe that’s why you are asking. OR, you could have found it on the court papers awarding physical residence custody of A to his father. Anyway, according to A you wanted it so you could send the child support money you owe for the past year. I’m sure you are struggling now that you are no longer receiving $750.00 a month from their Father, but is it really so hard for you to pay the $50.00 per month you have been ordered to pay? Especially in light of the fact that you do not support your son in any other way, and didn’t support Z prior to her turning 18 and moving on. Oh and don’t fool yourself into thinking that we don’t know about the business you and your husband own. I know you are not short on money; I’m just not sure how you are getting away with reporting you have no job and no source of income. What is so ironic to me is that if my husband said he could only afford to pay $50.00 a month in child support he would be told he had to go out and get a job. I know you have one school age child with your husband. Since he’s in school why can’t you go get a job so that you can afford to do more for A?

One thing I will say is that you are consistent. It seems when you have a bad day or just feel like being a jerk you call A and scream at him. Do you think that helps your relationship with him? It didn’t help with Z. In fact, she moved with us because of your treatment of her. Do you honestly think you can call your daughter ugly along with many of the other mean and hateful things you said and think she’d want to be with you? Really? There were many many times you would call and have her in tears with the things you were saying. I think A doesn’t really call you much because he just doesn’t want to deal with you. Why can’t you just call him and ask him about his day or how he is doing or what’s new with him? Why do you have to ask him about his dad, me, what kind of jewelry I have or where I buy my clothes? That really is none of your business. And more importantly, why do you feel the need to bring him in on the adult conversation items at all? A shouldn’t be relaying messages regarding child support or anything else. You should be adult enough to handle those types of conversations with his Father. Unfortunately you can’t.

Did you know that A was really looking forward to visiting this summer? Your refusal to pay for him to come has probably hurt your relationship with him. I hope you realize that. Last year we felt bad about your refusal to pay so we paid and how did you repay us? By letting A miss his flight despite our confirming with him several times that he had the correct flight info. Please understand that your “mistake” cost us an additional $1000 on top of what was already paid for the ticket. We didn’t mind paying for him to go because he really wanted it. But honestly, based on your history, I’m pretty sure you did this one on purpose. After years and years of paying for the kids to visit us (prior to their coming to live with us) and you not offering to help out one bit do you honestly expect us to continue to try to be nice? Especially when during visits with you there are quizzes on everything in our lives, screaming guilt trips, and general mental abuse? And then to top that off, upon returning we often experience behavior problems because of the things they go through there. Funny thing about all of this is that we have tried and continue to try to do the right thing and what is in the best interest of the A and Z when she was still with us.

You’d think that after 10 years of this things would change. They haven’t. I can only say that Thank God the kids were able to come live with their Dad in a stable environment. I hope that eventually they are able to have a good relationship with you, and in 3 years when A graduates and moves on, I for one will be celebrating the fact that I will never have to deal with your mean spirited, conniving, self serving, money hungry ass again!

Piss Off,

Chula